


Simply Because

by Katraa



Category: Subarashiki Kono Sekai | The World Ends With You
Genre: Alternate Universe, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-20
Updated: 2013-04-13
Packaged: 2017-11-19 02:51:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/568238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katraa/pseuds/Katraa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There were distinct advantages and disadvantages to being next door neighbors. One of them was that their windows faced each other. Whether that was an advantage of disadvantage, Neku wasn't too sure.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [alliterations](https://archiveofourown.org/users/alliterations/gifts).



It was snowing.

It was such an oddity for it to snow this time of the year. Usually Shibuya was too warm for anything but rain. Even stranger was that the flakes were  _actually_ sticking to the awning of the roof outside Neku's window. But perhaps what was the strangest was that Joshua was home that afternoon. Sundays were church and piano practice for the star-teen and Neku had gotten used to looking out his window and seeing an empty bedroom staring back at him. Today, however, was different.

Joshua was seated at his  _far_ too expensive desk, chin buried in his palms, bangs falling in his face, reading. What he was reading was out of Neku's line of vision, but he had his guesses - likely a book on biology. Didn't Joshua have the highest marks in that class? Which wasn't surprising, given his overall marks in general.

Neku leaned forward against his own desk, eyes narrowing to try and make out whether or not Joshua was actually reading or if he had dozed off. Neku contemplated taking out his phone and texting him but chose against it the moment he reached to open his drawer. He was low on minutes, anyway. His Dad would be peeved if he went over his limit for the third month in a row.

Settling upon simply observing, Neku leaned back in his chair and changed the song on his ipod. There was never a song that quite fit Joshua. It wasn't for a lack of searching, either. Neku just never was able to find a song that adequately summarized the relationship he had with his best friend; Joshua was an enigma that even Neku found hard to put into words and understand half the time.

The calculus homework looming on Neku's desk was nearly screaming at that point. It was due tomorrow morning. If he missed another assignment he'd suffer a point reduction on his overall grade. The missed assignments weren't so much caused by his lack of understanding - no, really, he was great at math and it was surprisingly his best subject. It was a matter of forgetfulness. That, and a matter of having so much better things to do with his teenage years than busying himself with  _math homework_.

In favor of continuing to procrastinate, Neku leaned forward a second time. This time, however, he stretched his arm out enough to unlatch his window and nudge it open. Expectedly, a cold gust of air greeted his face. He had gotten rid of the bug-screen that came with his window a long time ago. It was bad for the nights that he wanted to sleep with his window open, but the benefits outweighed the costs. The largest benefit being sitting on the small ledge outside, staring up at the stars. On rare occasions Joshua would join him. Joshua's ledge wasn't exactly suited for sitting upon, so he tended to perch himself in the window itself, letting his legs dangle down onto the wood-ledge for support.

Neku's phone unexpectedly began to dance across his desk, buzzing loudly, sounding as if it was a small jet about to take off. There went the idea of being conservative with his minutes.

"Hello?" Neku propped the phone up against his shoulder, his hands going back to sketching skylines and cityscapes. He felt particularly inspired today. Go figure.

"Keep staring like that and you'll make me blush." Neku felt his face scorch a hot red. His lips drew into a thin line as his brows furrowed together, unimpressed.

"Hello to you, too, jerk." Neku lifted his gaze from his messy desk to peer across the way to Joshua. As to be expected, Joshua was looking back at him, smirk sprawled across his face. When their eyes met, the fairer-skinned boy wiggled his wrist in a half-wave. Neku couldn't help but scoff.

"I'm surprised you're not out building a snowman," Joshua said as his chin returned to his hand.

"And I'm surprised you're not at practice."

"It was cancelled due to inclement weather." Joshua pointed up at the sky melodramatically. "I doubt it's going to get to whiteout conditions. The weather people tend to ghastly over-exaggerate."

"Sometimes they're right," Neku pointed out, bringing his pencil up to his mouth to chew on. "It's those times you don't listen that'll bite you in the ass, Josh."

"Hmmm, I know. That's why Mother wasn't upset about the appointment being cancelled. Me, on the other hand..." A long pause as his eyes seemed to  _god damn sparkle_ through the panes of glass separating them. "...am horribly bored."

Bored. Joshua. Those two words were never a good fit.

"Yeah, and?" Neku chewed harder on the end of his pencil. "I have homework to due, you know."

"You've been drawing for the past hour. Don't give me that excuse, Neku. It may work on Professor Mai, but not me."

Neku looked up again, eyes widening, absolutely scandalized. "How the hell did you know what I was doing?" Stirrings of a pout began to take shape on Neku's face.

"Your expression." Joshua's giggle was even  _more_ annoying over the phone. Sound impossible? Well, the little shit somehow managed to do it.

"What do you mean?" Neku frowned back at him, very glad that the distance made it hard to see his embarrassment.

"Hmm, what's the word?" Joshua clicked his tongue a few times. "Dreamy. You look dreamy whenever you're drawing. You look like you're being tortured when you're doing real work."

"This is real work," Neku retorted quickly, bypassing the 'dreamy' compliment. Compliment? Was it a compliment or just another attempt to rile him up? Either way, he was going the alternate route. "I need to finish my piece for the artshow."

"Oh? You're doing that?" Joshua's interest was piqued again. His voice may not have conveyed it but the lift of brows beneath his fringe of bangs definitely did.

"Yeah. I told you I was last week, dumb ass." Neku grinned albeit sheepishly. "It's free to get in. It's being held at the school."

"Yes, yes, I know the details, Neku." Joshua shook his head. "I'll be there."

"Cool."

Neku smiled as his gaze dropped back down to his drawing. Shibuya. It was near Spain Street, a certain area he and Joshua frequented often after school to get a snack. The architecture there was breathtaking and he had finally gotten around to getting it down on paper. Along with many other parts of the city he loved. That was what his display was to be about, too. The beauty of Shibuya. Pride in one's city. Something cheesy like that.

"...So, why'd you call?"

"To tell you stop staring," Joshua said automatically.

"Are you serious?"

"Dead." It was almost a pur as the other teen winked from across the way, his free hand hooking in the knot of his tie he still had on from church earlier that morning. "Unless you plan on acting on those silly little stares of yours."

"Hanging up now before I go over my minutes. Later."

Neku shut his phone without waiting for Joshua to respond. He got up from his desk seconds later, managing to catch a brief flicker of surprise on Josh's face. It was a tiny victory, having rendered him surprised for once. The little things in life really did mean a lot to Neku.

He stretched his arms above his head before heading over to get changed. He had some snow to conquer and traverse through. He wanted a burger.

* * *

Were those... rocks?

Yes, those were definitely rocks.

Neku stared up at his ceiling. After a long moment, his gaze turned to peer at the clock. It read two a.m. Were rocks  _seriously_ pinging his window at two in the morning?! A low growl started in the back of Neku's throat as he shoved off the blankets when the fifth rock hit his window, sounding as if it was going to break the glass-mixture the window was made out of. And if it broke, well, he'd certainly be in far more trouble than going over his cell phone minutes could ever wrought.

Neku shuffled over to his window and thrust it open, just in time to dodge a sixth rock that was incoming. The small pebble landed near his desk, clinking loudly in the silence. _Seriously_.

"Dude, if you break my window my Mom is going to strangle-" Neku began but was cut off when he realized Joshua was seated at his window, not on the ground like he had earlier suspected.

Usually, the other would come home late and Neku would have to help him sneak back into his bedroom. There was a tiny lattice near Joshua's window that he would climb up while Neku played lookout to make sure the Kiryus were fast asleep. What Joshua was doing out so late all the time Neku didn't necessarily wish to know.

"Hi there." Joshua waved from his perch, head tipped to the side.

"...Why are you awake right now?" Neku brought his hand up to cover a yawn. "It's two in the morning."

"I'm aware." Joshua hummed thoughtfully. "I can't sleep."

"So you're going to make me suffer, too," Neku finished for him, elbows coming to rest on the edge of his window. If he didn't, well, he'd probably fall over from how tired he was. "As uh, touched, as I am, I kinda wanna go to bed, Josh."

"You already got up. What will ten minutes more do?"

"You're insufferable." Neku closed his eyes, willing away the sleepiness for the time being. "Ok, you can't sleep. Why?"

"Caffeine, likely. I was finishing a term paper earlier and I suppose I had too much."

"So this is self-caused. I don't feel sorry for you." Neku yawned again, grumpily scrunching his nose. "You could have called me. You didn't have to chuck rocks at my window."

"Pieces of gravel, actually," Joshua corrected as his legs dangled back and forth.

"Ok, gravel." Neku frowned. "We're going to wake my parents up."

"Tell me a story and maybe I'll leave you alone."

"A story?" Neku couldn't believe what he was hearing. It was two in the morning, it was _cold outside_ , and Joshua was seated in his window like a small child wanting to hear a _bedtime story_. It took everything Neku had not to slam the window shut and shuffle back into his warm, inviting blankets. God, his bed was such a temptress right now.

"Yes, a story. I'm sure even  _you_ can handle that."

He was insulting him on purpose, wasn't he? "Ass."

"Well?" Joshua drawled, fingers strumming against the windowsill.

"Augh, fine." Neku moved a few things on his desk before he took a seat, cross-legged, on it. It was a bit uncomfortable, but if he sat any further away, he risked waking his parents up. Neku cleared his throat despite it. A story. How was he going to come up with a story on the fly? Let alone a story the other would enjoy. This was a miserable turn for the worst.

"Well, Neku?"

"I'm  _thinking_ ," Neku breathed out in vexation. "All right. Once upon a time-"

"How cliche."

"Can it."

"Yes, sir."

"Not too long ago, there used to be a ruler of Shibuya. He could have anything he wanted, whenever he wanted. He ruled the city and everyone that lived there. However, because he was ruler, he couldn't leave his throne. If he did, someone else would take it and he would lose his position. Anyway, because of that, he was a lonely ruler. He had no friends and no one ever came to see him. Ever his subjects didn't know the real him."

"Wow, this is depressing, Neku."

"Can you shut up for two seconds?"

"Heehee..."

"One day, the lonely ruler decided that he wanted to see his City. He asked one of his servants to sit on the throne and pretend to be him in case someone came to overthrow him. It sounded like a good plan. So the lonely ruler went out to look at his city and get to know his people."

Neku shifted, surprised that Joshua's gaze was fixed solely on  _him_ , utterly fixated on the story. He continued.

"When he was out, he met a few people. A merchant who showed him the native foods that made Shibuya famous. A young girl who showed him the latest music and trends. And finally he met a boy. One that ran into him when he was out and kept walking. Naturally, not used to being treated like that, the lonely ruler got ticked off and called the boy out. The boy just laughed at him. A fight almost happened, had it not been for the fact that the lonely ruler noticed something special about the boy."

"Hm?"

"He remembered him from before he was the ruler. They had been friends when they were young. Really young. But he remembered him, because no one else in Shibuya had such pretty eyes."

"Pretty eyes. Really, Neku?"

"Do you want the story or not?"

"Yes, yes. Continue."

"Well, the boy obviously didn't remember him. The ruler didn't say anything and murmured an apology before heading back to his throne. He felt even worse. He felt lonelier than he had before he left."

"Neku, are you awake?"

Neku started, nearly falling off the desk altogether. His Mom's voice rose from down the hall, making his heart stop. Panicking, Neku tossed Joshua an apologetic stare before quietly closing his window and lunging back into bed. Just as quickly he dragged the blankets over his head and feigned sleep. Damn it, if he was caught awake at this hour, talking to Joshua, well... well his parents would be mad.

Too bad he wasn't tired anymore.

By the time his Mom had come and gone to check on him, Joshua was already gone.

Yes, this night absolutely sucked.

* * *

It was snowing, again. Neku decided it was going to be common this winter to look outside and see a mini-blizzard between their two houses. The sun had already set and the only light was radiating off the moon and their bedrooms. But it was enough.

Joshua was in the midst of practicing piano - he could hear it. Joshua had closed his, but Neku's was open. He could easily hear the faint pitter-pattering of piano keys. It sounded like a cascade. Neku found himself subconsciously humming along to the beats he came to know because of how often Joshua played them. He had never told his friend that he liked to listen in on his practices. Was it weird? Neku wasn't entirely sure but he wasn't about to bring it up.

Still, though. The way the other's hair fell down over his shoulders, the way he bent forward just slightly - despite being told always to have a straight back when playing... Neku couldn't help but smile. Joshua truly was a piece of work. A piece of artwork. Which is why he sketched him so often. He had the perfect proportions, the perfect blend of feminine and masculine features - he was the perfect model.

But that's the only reason he drew him. Because he was like having a personal model whenever you wanted right outside your window. That was all. Of course.

Neku's phone buzzed again. When he looked to see what it was about, a tiny text popped up.

"I'll play for you one day, if you're that enthralled." A little heart was stamped after it.

Neku nearly gagged.  _Pompous ass._

* * *

Rocks were hitting his window. Again.

And he had a math test in the morning.

God damn it he was going to destroy Joshua.

Begrudgingly, Neku got to his feet. By the time he had made it to the window, he came to the realization that it was rain and not little rocks smacking the glass. He hesitated, though. Not because it was raining and would likely the entirety of the next day, but because Joshua was sitting outside his window again, legs dangling out, pajama bottoms completely soaking wet. And he was staring up at the sky, almost lifelessly. Neku bit his bottom lip. What was  _that_  about? Didn't he know he could get sick and  _die_? Ok, maybe that not severe, but with Joshua, nothing was out of the league of possibilities.

Neku found himself opening his window without even realizing it.

"...What's up?"

Joshua didn't answer him. The rain was falling in just the perfect angle so it was brushing Joshua's face. Neku frowned again.

"Josh?"

Joshua finally seemed to register that Neku was talking to him. He looked over, eyes just as lifeless as the rest of his form. "Hm? You're awake?"

"Yeah. Duh." Neku eyed his the window before all but crawling out it to sit on the small ledge outside.

It was cold, and wet, and he was certain he was going to die if he made one wrong move and fell off the slippery ledge. But here he was, in his pajamas, getting soaked, staring at an unresponsive Joshua. It was probably near midnight and he was going to pay for this in the morning, he really was.

"You look like death," Neku offered up trying to lighten the mood.

Joshua's gaze did not betray any hints. "Say, Neku. How does that story end?"

"...What story?"

"The one you told me a few weeks ago. About the ruler of Shibuya."

Neku frowned. Oh, this again? "I don't know. I was making it up as I went."

"I see."

"...What's wrong?" Neku tried to reach out across the way to try and touch Joshua. He failed, though. They had learned this long ago that despite being so close, touching from their perches was impossible. Now, Neku was cursing it more than he ever had before. Joshua looked like he was about to break down and all he could do was sit here and stare at him.

"Do you think he finds happiness? Or is he doomed to be a lonely ruler forever?"

"I don't think it matters, Josh, it's just a story."

Joshua didn't respond. Instead, he giggled, emptily. "Shall we make up an ending, then?"

"Sure."  _If it'll make you feel better._

Joshua's gaze lifted again, meeting Neku's. It was a bit distant, but at least it seemed a bit livelier. "He went out again to City."

"Yeah, and he tried to find the boy."

"Mhmmm." Joshua's lips formed a straight, indifferent line. "And he scoured the City for him."

"He wasn't sure why, though." Neku wasn't entirely sure where this was going.

"It was obvious, if he searched himself enough. That boy was the only person who made him feel alive. Made a rather bland life worth living. Made him feel like a person." Joshua wasn't looking at him anymore.

"He found him eventually."

"Well that's good. Because the ruler needed someone to talk to. To listen to him."

"And they talked for a few hours."

"The boy never found out who the ruler was, either." Joshua frowned. "It was a pity, really. But they remained friends. They saw each other a few times after that, though."

"Whenever the other one needed cheering up." The rain grew heavier, louder, colder. It was almost hail at that point. "Josh, we should probably go in before we get sick."

"That's likely the best course of action."

"Yeah."

"Mhmm."

Neku stared at him for a long moment. Never before had he wished the ledges were just a tiny bit closer. Just a bit. Joshua tossed him one final look before heading back inside. He slept with his phone by his side that night, just in case. Just in case.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AND PART TWO (and final part) of this. At last. Yes.

Neku's mother was starting to question the massive stack of papers in Neku's trash-bin that seemed to magically accumulate overnight. More specifically, she was wondering about the various checkerboards of tic-tac-toe--which always seemed to show X as the victor. Then there were the single sentences etched in the blackest of ink--and hadn't she _just recently_ purchased that for him, too?

Neku chewed rather absently at the end of his pen. Yet again, Joshua had ensnared him into the tightest of situations; he had pegged him into a corner with nowhere to place his O. Victory was no longer in his grasp. Frowning, Neku scribbled out the board he had drawn, moving to push back in his chair to wallow in defeat. He did, however, shift his gaze up to look across the way and out the window. As expected, Joshua was seated at his desk, pompous as ever, wiggling his wrist in a mock-wave. Absolute _jerk_ knew he would win, didn't he? He _always_ won, considering out of the eight games they had played in the past few days, Joshua had claimed victor in all eight. 

A moment or two passed before Joshua held up a sheet of paper neatly inscribed with, "done?"

Neku heaved a sigh. He wrote back, "Yeah. Wanna come over?"

Joshua frowned and quickly held up, "Can't. Piano practice soon."

There was a tilt to Neku's head, "Thought that was Sundays and Tuesdays."

Joshua visibly sighed, shoulders rising and falling heavily, "Mother scheduled an additional one for today."

Neku had never heard of Joshua deviating from his schedule before and the oddity earned a wrinkle of Neku's nose. He dropped the topic, however, and eventually wrote back, "OK." Wonderful, another wasted sheet on one phrase.

"Don't look so disappointed."

Oh god was that a heart at the end of that? Was Neku going blind? Neku feigned a gag and casually flipped the bird; he could almost _hear_ that infernal giggle. God dammit. In the end, though, it was enough for Neku to pull away from his desk and retreat from the window. Joshua had practice soon, anyway, and Neku had homework to attend to that was downstairs. His Mother had caught on to him wanting to "do homework in his room" when she noticed his grades slipping. Now, he was forced to complete any work downstairs, lest he face his Mother's wrath.

Neku's pocket buzzed. Quickly, he fished out the phone and flipped it open. Just a text.

'Not even a goodbye? How rude.'

Neku snorted at the text and closed his phone, not bothering to respond for now--it would only fuel the fire of Joshua's teasing. 

He was getting better at the whole, 'not provoking the demon' philosophy.  


\-------

"What's this?"

Neku sidestepped around Joshua to peer excitedly over his best friend's shoulder. Joshua skeptically clutched a poorly wrapped package, the edges tearing and threatening to break at any moment if not handled with care. The shorter of the pair curved a slender brow, awaiting an explanation that did not seem to be happening anytime soon. When Joshua realized this, he flicked his gaze down to the package, trying to discern just what it was. Neku seemed to notice this and laughed. He reached forward and gave a small tug to the makeshift bow that looked as if a three-year old had tied. 

"Dude, just open it."

"What if it's a bomb?" Joshua frown grew and he plucked the bow off suspiciously, "I hold you personally liable for any harm that comes from this, just so you know."

"Yeah, yeah sure. Now just open it."

Joshua rolled his eyes and slipped his fingers beneath the folds of the paper at last. After drawing out the process for as long as possible, he finally tore it open. It was a rather easy procedure given the weak structure of the package in the first place. Hidden beneath layers of packing-paper was a simple dry erase whiteboard and an accompanying marker. Joshua's expression was less than surprised--rather, it was downright _confused_.

"Are you that worried about my Math scores, Neku?"

"Not everyone gloats about what they're good at, y'know," Neku shook his head and poked the whiteboard. "It's to replace paper."

"I'm aware…"

"No, I mean… when we're at home."

It finally seemed to click. There was a lightening to Joshua's eyes as he surveyed the present a few more times before making a satisfactory 'hmm'. "I do suppose it'll get your Mother off your back, yes. But how does giving one to me help your cause?"

"I got one for myself, too," Neku breathed out in exasperation, fingers tugging at his backpack's straps. "Listen, I gotta get going. I have to grab things for Mom at the store."

"Mhmm." Joshua held the whiteboard at arms length, nearly, as if he were expecting it to spring to life and maul his pretty-boy face. "Wouldn't want to run late."

"Yeah…" 

Neku trailed off and continued poking at his bag before shuffling his feet. It was quite the sight to see, really. Really, it was like a tiny child giving a present to a parent and waiting for praise. Joshua seemed to catch on. When he did, a smirk manifested and he tucked the present away safely in his own bag. 

"It was very thoughtful of you."

Neku swallowed harder than necessary and retorted with a needlessly quick, "It was just convenient, ok?"

"Mhmmm." 

Neku turned on his heel to head back down the hallway with a half-wave, not bothering to wait for a proper good-bye. Joshua watched him go, brows lifted up to his hairline, fingers nestled into the pockets of his uniform's pants. It was almost cute, in a way. The stirrings of a genuine smile flittered on Joshua's face before he turned back to his locker to collect his piano books to head back home.

\------

There had been a lull where Neku was convinced whatever had been bothering his best friend had finally come to an end. Apparently, that was not the case, seeing as how a week after Neku's gift, Joshua returned to a careful and calculating despondency. The teen wasn't responding to his texts in normal fashion and the usual teasing had reached an all-time low. All of Joshua's interactions seemed force, drained, and tired. At first Neku had blamed it on the stress the other's parents was placing upon him, what with the grades, the music, and the practice exams he always seemed to be undertaking, but as of late, Neku was reconsidering his reasoning. There was something else. Joshua had always handled stress extremely well--hell, the asshole seemed to thrive off the challenge--so the likelihood that it was just the "wear and tear" of everyday was decreasing at a rapid pace . So, what did that mean?

Getting a straight answer out of Joshua was easier said than done -- rather, it was near impossible, especially when Joshua was like this. Neku had made every effort to cheer his friend up but nothing seemed to be sticking. Joshua hadn't pushed him away, though. Everyone else Joshua seemed to shut off from entirely. Their homeroom teacher had even asked Neku off-the-cuff if something was bothering the 'star student' and if Neku could do something about it. Joshua's classmates and group mates didn't seem to know the cause either and stopped chatting him up in the hallways - and for good reason, since whenever they tried as of late Joshua pointedly nodded in acknowledgement of their existence and then walked away. It seemed, in the end, Neku was the only person who hadn't been forced behind an invisible wall.

Which left Neku staring up at his bedroom ceiling, wondering if it would be a good idea to sneak out and over to Joshua's place. He could always climb the lattice and knock on his window in movie-like fashion, but the risks outweighed the possible rewards in this situation. The best case scenario would be a light talking to from both their parents about the dangers of lattices (even though Joshua was a frequent climber of them). 

Neku resumed tossing a small stress-ball at the ceiling, catching it on its way down. He was playing a game--every-time he threw it, he thought of a new word. By the time the ball reached its peak, Neku was to think of a second word that held the closest association to the original word in Neku's mind. It was a game of little to no thinking capacity and it kept him from passing out too early.

But the game wasn't that fun lately when every other word led him back to Joshua - or something that was so closely associated with Joshua that he couldn't help but think of him anyway.

Joshua wasn't answering his texts right now and Neku simply figured he was running late at piano. It was Sunday and he didn't really do anything else this day so it had to be that. 

Right?

So why did Neku have a horrible gut feeling that kept him from putting his mind on anything else? And why did he feel slightly angry that Joshua hadn't bothered to text him back yet?

The chair of his desk was collecting dust.

\------

Things got weirder when Joshua's texts seemed so out-there that it was hard to figure out what the other was thinking. The most recent was, 'Why is this place so stagnate and stifling?' It was _weird_ and not something Neku suspected any normal person to text. Then again, this was Joshua they were talking about and he was far from normal in the first place. For all the years he had known his best friend, normal had never been in the realm of Joshua. But still, texts like that and along the lines of, 'Not today, Neku' when he asked to hang out… it was disconcerting.

\------

Neku should have known that something was wrong when the other's attendance started going down. Joshua had never skipped class before and the other, despite being sick on the occasion because of his unusually weak immune system, never missed _four consecutive days_. Neku had tried going over to the Kiryu's, but every time he knocked, he was ignored. Maybe they weren't home?

His calls were being ignored, too, and every time he did get a text from Joshua in the past four days, it was curt and, 'Don't worry about it'. 

Something was terribly wrong and Neku wanted to punch his window until the glass between their rooms shattered and bloodied his fists.

\------

At least, all of that came to a head when Neku stayed up late for the next day's Math exam. It was the fifth day Joshua hadn't attended class and if he didn't show up tomorrow, well, he was going to have to knock down the other's door and drag him with him. 

It was raining, making it hard to focus on the numbers on Neku's worksheet. They seemed to dance around aimlessly, hiding the answer from Neku as if they were pixies. Little shits, he thought to himself as he gnawed at the back of his pencil. The rain picked up in intensity, making a louder clanging against the awning outside. It was probably midnight already and Neku suspected he had another good hour of cramming before he could call it a night.

The whiteboard he had used but twice since purchasing it lay idly by his side. He hadn't bothered writing math on it (even though it would have saved him numerous sheets of paper). Rather, he was saving it for when his best friend did manage to come around and start being present again.

Neku's phone buzzed.

Quickly, he fetched it off its perch on his lamp - it never rang anymore. 

A text. Right. A text. 'That story, Neku, how did it end, again?'

What the actual fuck? Neku groaned and pressed the small green circle on his phone. If Joshua was going to play mind-games with his _best friend_ , Neku was going to nip it in the bud as quickly as possible. As expected, Joshua didn't answer. Frustrated, Neku drafted back, 'What story, Josh? Why aren't you in class or home? What's going on?' _Why don't you tell me things anymore? I thought I was your best friend. I thought…._

'It's complicated.'

It always was complicated with fucking Joshua.

'And the story of the ruler of Shibuya.'

This _again_? When Neku was trying to be a good best friend? This _again_? There was a bubbling of rage that a normal friendship shouldn't stir and Neku felt the closest to a betrayed lover he ever had - maybe this was why he never bothered with girls or dating in general. It was hectic and frustrating and it god damn hurt.

'I'm your best friend just tell me what's bothering you.'

'The story ending?'

_I hate you… I hate you so much right now why the fuck are you doing this to me why won't you tell me what's WRONG?_ Neku glared at his phone angrily. Fine. He'd throw a bone. 'Remember? They stayed friends and they CHEERED EACH OTHER UP WHEN THE OTHER WAS SAD.'

Maybe the caps wasn't necessary.

'Did he ever find out?'

'Find out what, Joshua?'

He really hated typing out his friend's full name like that.

'That he was the Ruler and that they had been friends in the past.'

'Does it matter?'

Neku nearly fell out of his chair when he realized every time he sent back a text, a small light appeared out on his awning. _His_ awning. His awning that was legitimately a few feet in front of him and oh my god was _Joshua on his fucking awning outside his window this entire time?!_ It was raining and how did he get up there in the first place and just what the actual fuck?

Neku quickly shoved the window open, wincing as a gust of cold wind and rain hit his face. Expectedly - or maybe not so expectedly - there sat Joshua, soaked to the bone, likely, phone in hand. He didn't look up.

"Josh."

Nothing.

Neku grit his teeth and held back the urge to cuss the other out for being so damn evasive, but the subtle realization that Joshua was here, wasn't running, made him calm down. Wordlessly, Neku held out a hand for the other. Thankfully, Joshua took it and carefully edged his way inside and onto the corner of Neku's desk, mindful not to dampen the worksheets Neku had been slaving over the past few hours.

"Want a towel?"

No answer -- this was a familiar scenario. Hadn't he done this before? Except this time he was actually in his room.

"You could have gotten a concussion out there if you slipped or somethin'… or from the hail if it got worse." He half expected to be berated with a correctional, "you can't get a confusion from hail", but it never came. In its place was a distant stare that lingered on the same wet spot on Neku's carpet. Neku restlessly moved forward, extending a hand towards his friend once more. It was politely edged away from.

"You're soaked, dude… Really, let me go get you a towel…" Because Joshua was obviously not going to divulge any particulars about why he was here or why he hand't been in school or _why_ he had been avoiding interaction with Neku in the first place. 

When Neku turned to move away his wrist was seized. A cold wave of finality engulfed him, asphyxiating him. There was suddenly a weightiness to his shoulders he hadn't realized had been there all along. He thought he simply could shrug it off, but it stayed there steadfast, making it hard to stand or even breathe. He thought he had gotten rid of it years ago, thought it wasn't there anymore. Yet here it was, staring him down, barring its grizzly teeth. 

Neku suddenly wished he hadn't opened the window in the first place. This was too close of a reminder of why he had to check his every action around his best friend. Every physical touch was near toxic to the point of actively making sure their hands never brushed.

"Are you afraid of death, Neku?"

It was such a quiet whisper that Neku wasn't sure if he heard right. However, the distant look on Joshua's face cast on the floor was all the confirmation Neku needed. He gulped, eyes still back on his seized wrist, trying to put the pieces together.

"…Yeah. Who isn't?"

"Mmm… don't you think sometimes it's easier? What's the point of living if you can't fulfill some greater purpose?"

"Josh--"

"After all, the world is overpopulated--" Joshua was forcibly cut off by Neku using his free hand to slam the other's mouth shut, forcefully. He had wanted to punch him, maybe smack him, but all he ended up doing was shoving his palm down hard against Josh's lips to force him to stop talking. It seemed to do the trick because Joshua immediately shut up and looked up, brows lifted. At least that seemed to jolt him out of depressing things.

"Josh-- just… Never, ever fucking say that again, ok?" Neku breathed, voice a bit heavier, raw, and he was no longer just a best friend writing on a whiteboard to his childhood neighbor, but he was a young adult confronting a very real issue of suicide with someone who made him feel dizzy and limitless and wonderful and yet perfectly corrupt and sinful all at once. 

Joshua seemed to notice the change because when Neku's hand fell away from his mouth, his lips remained parted, as if Neku had stolen any possible witty response straight out of him.

"You're not… no matter how bad things are for you right now, they'll get better. I mean, maybe _they_ won't exactly, but other things will and _fuck_ Josh what the hell… why would you ever think that…" _What would I do if you left? Why didn't you think of me? Why are you so selfish and impulsive and such a brat, i hate you, I hate you, why did you ever move across the street, I hate you, you prick…_

"And if they don't….?"

"You find something else to live for."

Neku felt like his blood was simultaneously ice and fire, coiling around him, making him want to throw up and run a marathon at the same time. It was an odd paradox and maybe it was rooted in the fact that from the moment Joshua had appeared on his awning all he had wanted to do was take him inside and tell him it was going to be okay and _protect him_. Because that's what best friends did, right? The weight grew exponentially and Neku was certain he'd fall to the floor in a second from it.

"Something else to live for," Joshua echoed and closed his eyes, a shiver and quiver to him because of how wet he was from the rain.

Something inspiration about living for passion and living for friendship and to prove people wrong rose up inside Neku and he almost started quoting his favorite comics at Joshua, followed by dragging him to find towels and getting soup and discussing math and video games and taking his mind off the darkness, because by all means that was how that moment was supposed to go, but all he ended up doing was pressing his free hand to the nape of the other's neck and tugging his head closer until Joshua's forehead pressed to his cheek.

"Don't scare me like that again, you asshole," Neku whispered, voice shaky as if he had just nearly died himself. "Don't you friggin' ever. Promise me, you idiot…"

Joshua didn't say anything but he didn't pull away - he didn't shy away from everyone else and really, this was the first real hug, contact, they had had in years and it was shockingly new and Joshua was frozen in place. By rain or by the weight that had extended over to his shoulders, too, it was hard to tell.

"I don't want you to forget me, Neku."

Suddenly, the weight made sense and he realized belatedly that Joshua's prying had all been in attempts to confirm that the honor-student of the school wouldn't be forgotten by his childhood best friend as their roads eventually departed somewhere in the future. Neku had never intended it to mirror things in any way but apparently Joshua had taken it that way and _oh_. His stomach knotted and the hand on the back of Joshua's neck slid up into the wet strands of hair, tangling tightly, nearly tugging as he buried his nose down into the wet mess on the top of Josh's head.

"How can I forget an idiot like you?"

"You're awfully cruel when you're hurt, Neku…" Joshua noted in the quiet air, his left hand resting on Neku's side, fingertips cold and gripping at the fabric apprehensively. The touch was electric and Neku's heart lurched and these past four or five days had been hell and Joshua was in his arms, soaking wet and beautiful and talking about _destroying it all_ and he was vulnerable and felt worthless and-- "How could you--"

It was enough to make Neku nudge away and slam their lips together in the sloppiest and ill-experienced kisses ever to happen in this side of Shibuya. There was a moment when Neku was certain he had probably chipped their teeth together but he wasn't in any pain and his head was fuzzy from warmth and adrenaline. Joshua's lips were soft and he would have focused more on the 'pureness of the moment' and that mumbo jumbo but the way Joshua clutched at Neku's side and pressed their bodies flush together had his mind going in other directions.

He was glad Joshua was still on his desk at this point because it made for the perfect angle to kiss Joshua senseless; that and pepper his already wet neck with wetter kisses. 

Neku nearly shoved his homework off his desk entirely and climbed up on it alongside his best friend but sounds from somewhere else in Neku's house had him pulling back nervously. Joshua's eyes were brighter than usual and his lips remained parting, panting lightly. 

"Neku…"

Neku cracked a weak smile and Joshua looked away. "I'll never leave you."

"That's horribly cliche…"

"That's what you wanted to hear, right, idiot?" Neku whispered as he moved to shyly push the other's bangs back. "… Listen, I… don't know how you got up outside my window but I can't have you jumping back to your room when it's wet out so uh… did you want to… spend the night.. I mean I can sleep on the floor or--"

Joshua smiled gently and looked off to the side, face still a bright red from being irritated by the cold and rain. "Mm… I'd like that."

"…Good."

Neku was fairly certain he wouldn't be sleeping on the floor and that Joshua wouldn't be skipping anymore class-- and that he wouldn't be using anymore whiteboards any longer.


End file.
